i find it hard

there is something i have been trying to ignore. but i really shouldn't any longer. i have been getting low... about quitting piano. i have hang on for the past few years. and eventually i given it up. sometimes i hate myself for not being hardworking, not being talented in this field, not giving my best in things that i first asked for.

my mum asked me to think carefully whether i really want to quit piano. and offically today is my last piano lesson. it took me courage to tell my teacher, but she kind of sense it coming she said. i think my teacher is a very nice lady, she encourages, a woman of faith, always reminding me to pray when i feel troubled. she help me to gain confidence even though knowing that im weak in certain areas.

i cant help but...

now all the emotions are spilling out as i think back.